Moms Need Time With Friends Too

Wow my soul needs friends!

I feel like I don’t realize how much I need friends until after I spend time with them. I feel so refreshed, excited, and full.

It’s easy for us as moms to realize the importance of our kids having time with friends. It’s important for their brain development, social skills, and it’s just fun.

God made us to be and thrive in community. There’s value in connecting with people. It’s hard to explain or put into words, but we all feel it and crave it.

“Sweet friendships refresh the soul and awaken our hearts with joy, for good friends are like the anointing oil that yields the fragrant incense of God’s presence.”

– Proverbs 27:9

But, sometimes we get so caught up in getting everything done, or focus so much on making sure our kids have everything they need, that we end up not taking care of ourselves in the process.

But, our kids need us to be whole as well. And, I don’t think that’s possible if we don’t make time to be with friends.

You may be like me and need your alone time and also enjoy working on things by yourself. But, we aren’t meant to go through life alone.

Yes, you may have your spouse, and that’s obviously important. But, having other friends to go through life with is important too and can be so life giving!

Friends bring perspective, advice, fun, and encouragement that we can’t cultivate on our own.

Being able to relate to someone who is either currently or has gone through something you are experiencing is so helpful. The enemy likes to lie to us and make us feel like we’re the only ones who have gone through, struggled with, or felt “xyz”. Friends can be there to speak against those lies and say “me too”.

It Can Be Hard.

Making and keeping friends takes work, especially as a mom. But, it’s so worth the effort!

It can definitely be hard navigating nap time, the whole daily routine, and the ever changing attitudes of everyone involved.

I relate.

There seems to always be an obstacle.

And, how do you even make friends as adults anyway? It seemed to be much easier when we were kids.

My advice: Just ask.

Invite someone over, ask to meet at a park so the kids can play, or grab coffee at the cute coffee shop with a kid’s corner.

Basically, find something kid friendly and reach out.

My Story

Yesterday, I met with two new friends from church. I didn’t know either one of them very well, and they didn’t know each other either. We have mutual friends, but none of us had ever really had a conversation with each other.

I had wanted to get to know them for a while, and randomly started talking to one on Instagram. I reached out and invited both of them to meet for coffee, and it was a total success!

Was it a little vulnerable and uncomfortable to reach out and plan a get together not knowing either one of them?

Yeah.

Was it totally worth it?

YES.

We connected so well, and I can see myself being friends with them for years.

Balance

Another thing I talk about a lot is prioritizing your family. I think it’s so important to set healthy boundaries and be willing to put your family first and, at times, say “no” to your friends in order to say “yes” as needed to your family.

I don’t have the equation or formula for keeping these perfectly balanced. I think there are different seasons in life. Times where our friends need a little extra or we need a little extra from them, and times where our family needs us to pull back from other things and pour most of our energy within the four walls of our home.

I don’t know what season you’re in or what you need most in the moment. But, I know we were made for community and I know that family is our first priority under God. _{(Reminder: Biblically, your husband comes before your kids. Your spounse may not physically require as much time from you as little kids do, but prioritizing something above something else doesn’t always look like you giving it the most time. Another subject for another time. But, just remember your kids will do better in an environment cultivated under a healthy marriage than they will without it. Part of taking care of your kids is taking care of your marriage too.)}

Encouragment

I’ve heard too many women say they lost themselves after becoming a mom.

Kids require so much time and our lifestyles keep us so busy.

But, I really do want to encourage you to make time in your schedule for hanging out with your friends.

If you don’t have close friends, I can say from experience that it’s worth reaching out even if it feels awkward. Most likely that mom is feeling the same way you are and would jump at the chance to spend time with someone who values them enough to say something.

We all want to feel wanted, and an invite is exactly that.

Get creative in making friend time work. You won’t regret it!

For some ideas on how to make time with friends and other things work within a busy schedule, check out my post about my weekly routine.